Bye Bye Ambrocious

Today we had to put down our wonderful kitty Ambrocious. He stopped eating a few weeks ago, losing lots of weight and showing less and less interest in food. We took him to the vet on Saturday, only to find out that it would cost $600+ just to get him on IV fluids and to run the tests to find out what's really going on. The vet's best guesses were liver failure, kidney failure and/or cancer. We tried over the weekend with some prescribed food and antibiotics, but they haven't been helping and Ambrocious has only deteriorated. He barely has any strength to walk, and he's not even interested in us anymore. He just wants to sit under the bed all day. Ambrocious was over 17 years old, and has no health problems up until this point, so we've had a wonderful time with our wonderful kitty.

In commemoration of Ambrocious, I am writing this blog post and sharing the only picture I have of him on my computer. I would reprint my 'Nature of the Beast' essay about Ambrocious, but I've already done that. I have 300 more pictures on my phone, but I have a very junk phone so I don't have any way of putting all those pictures on my computer and creating an Ambrocious album or slideshow. I'll now probably just delete them all and then take lots of new pictures of my new kitty once I get a new kitty. Anyway, Ambrocious was a very good cat, and it sucks to make this decision. It's sad to see him wither away and not really know what's wrong with him. We've known we had to do this for a few days, and that he was a very old cat, but it's still no fun.

Tough Several Days

It's been emotional, since we've had the cat for so long and there's not much more we can do about him. We knew the diagnosis wouldn't be good and that it would probably be expensive to fix him. I've felt heavy with sadness, and although we will eventually get a new cat and be very happy again, it's sad to let go of Ambrocious. It sucks that we have to make the decision to put him down, instead of having him pass on his own. But, the latter will be very painful, as he's not eating. He looks at food and water likes it's an affront to his existence. He doesn't want it at all. He's not meowing in pain, but when he does meow he doesn't sound happy, like he is in pain. It's better this way.

Bye Bye Ambrocious

Bye bye big fat kitty. He was the big fat kitty fluff, full of stuff. Without you, I wouldn't have known how to hold a cat, or love a cat, or bond with a cat. Without you, I don't have anyone to give treats to, or to have lick the water off of my hair. Without you, I don't have anyone to greet me when I wake up in the morning, or to think I'm opening up a can a tuna, or to follow me around when I come home from work. Without you, I wouldn't have known how awesome life is when you have cute kitties in your life. Now, I know, and I must forever have cute kitties in my life. But, Ambrocious will always be the first cute kitty. The big fat kitty who has set the precedent for all the other kitties. The bestest best kitty in the world.

Nature of the Beast

This is an essay I wrote in college about my cat Ambrocious. I have been a little worried about him recently, since he is losing some weight and he didn't want to eat his treats today. Other than that, he doesn't have problems, but he is an old cat. This kind of works out because I wanted to write about him today.

As a published writer and an aspiring journalist, my trouble in coming up with something to write about in the topic of nature is, ironically, unnatural.  How can someone well-versed in the English language and experienced in projecting thoughts in the written word now be so inept at something done a hundred times before?  I admit, this writer’s block is strange to me, and spending the last week and a half trying to push the block out of the way hasn't gotten me anywhere, except tired and in bed too early in the night.

All this cat hair all over me is also unnatural.  Makes me unnaturally ugly, a screaming mess against my black clothing.  The cat is also very unnatural in and of itself.  His name is Ambrocious, a name no natural cat would have. Ambrocious also enjoys spankings. This isn’t even something that humans naturally enjoy, and has been proven detrimental to childrens’ health.

The whole thing naturally goes something like this: prowling in the night, Ambrocious spies his prey sitting obliviously behind the ottoman. He ducks low on the cold, hard floor preparing for the pounce as his prey has set itself too close into the lion’s den. He holds still for a minute, stalking the prey’s non-movement. The prey has no chance, its camouflage useless, the shiny gold and purple against the cloudy-skied carpet. He leaps; the two front paws crush his prey as it echoes a crinkly scream. He gnaws on the ball of foil, as the prey dies a noisy, crumbled, death. Ambrocious is then bored and in need of attention, also known as the spankings. As a kitten, Ambrocious’ previous owner carried him around like a baby patting his bum with everlasting maternal love. Now, the six-year-old cat, comes to the casting couch to win his role as World’s Cutest Kitty, failing to realize that he is only one in contention. He tantalizes with his sleek, long orange and white fur and his kitty green eyes. Ambrocious also has unnaturally long fur, as he is not a Persian, but probably has the longest fur of any cat that is not a Persian.   Ambrocious also has a tendency to lick me, like a dog, in the face, which is also very unnatural.  I thought that was his way of showing affection, but it’s recently come to my attention that the cat could just be cleaning me.  I already unnaturally take a shower once a day with modern unnatural plumbing in order to smell, unnaturally, like apples.  I don’t need to be unnaturally cleaned by an unnatural cat.

Ambrocious can’t really help himself, having spent his entire life indoors eating dissolvable cat chow and following his humans every time they enter the kitchen (he doesn’t want food, the kitchen is just a great place for him to get the humans to look down at him and admire his unnaturalness). But, all this unnaturalness can actually be derived to the single fact that Ambrocious is neutered, a victim of a very unnatural process.  Therefore, Ambrocious’ lack thereof is the inherent and essential quality that explains everything about him.  Yes, things would be very different if Ambrocious did not lack any anatomy.

What is the inherent or essential quality or character of humankind, which cannot be changed?  The Ancient Greeks argued that it was our ability to reason, our ability to think beyond inherent instincts and desires and to provide a perspective that is bigger than ourselves.  And I’ve come to find that this perspective is about the size of a kitty as in the great scheme of things, we are only about the size of a kitty comparative to the universe.