I Was Distracted with Poker This Week

I realized about a week ago that WSOP.com is livestreaming the final tables of many of the events taking place this summer, which took away my attention from writing on the blog. Of course, this is something I learn about at the END of the WSOP, when many of the events are already over. Fortunately, between now and the November Nine, I can catch up and watch all the final tables in the archive if I really want to. I might watch some of them since poker always makes great background noise and I don't know any of the results so it would all be a surprise. But, for now, I've gotten my poker fill so I can get back to work and writing blog posts (especially since the July 4th weekend is over).

I Have a New Idea

I mentioned in a previous post about starting a podcast, and I'm tabling that idea for now. I still would like the start a podcast, but I have a better idea that I'd like to pursue, and getting that idea going doesn't involve a podcast at this time. I don't think it's the best venue for the better idea, although it would be great to incorporate a podcast if I can complete the vision I see for my new, better idea.

I'm not going to talk too much about my new, better idea because I don't want to jinx it. I don't remember where I read or heard this, but from what I remember, there is such a thing as "talking about your ideas too much." The problem is that talking about the idea too much can result in a sense of progress, making it more difficult to achieve actual progress. I completely forget where I heard about this, so I could be making it all up,. However, if keeping it under a bit of secrecy helps me to achieve actual progress, then that's "help" that I should take.

I Will Be Testing the Idea on Twitter

I will say that I will be testing the idea on Twitter by tweeting on some of the topics involved in my idea. I'm testing the idea on Twitter to see if there's any traction to this idea and what kind of traction I get for it. I particularly want to look at which tweets and topics get the most engagement and who's engaging with those tweets. Engagement is good, but I'm hoping to target a specific audience demographic with my idea, so know looking at who's engaging with my tweets is very important.

I'm also utilizing Twitter to continue building an audience on the platform. If I decide to take this idea to the next step, then having a substantial audience that's already familiar with who I am and the topics I cover is an incredible asset. I'm not sure how long I'm going to test the idea before taking the next step at this point, but I think I'll have to test for about a month or two in order to get a good sample size and to give each of the topics enough time on Twitter. I want to test this long enough so that it's clear over time that certain topics are more popular than others and engaging the right people, versus looking at results where other factors could explain the engagement or the popularity on that particular day or week.

Right now, I want to do one thing at a time and avoid overwhelming myself by taking to take this in too many directions or in trying to move too quickly with it. If I overwhelm myself, then I'm not going to want to pursue the idea anymore.

I Don't Know if It's Important for Me to Excel at Poker Anymore

I haven't played poker for a few months now. Probably the last time I played was when I was in Las Vegas in October. It might have been sometime before that or just after that trip when I last played poker online. The new update on Lock Poker took away all the fish, and I just don't have the time to play and to study like I used to, especially since I have my part-time news app gig as well as my clients to attend to. At this point, I'm strongly considering withdrawing what I have left of my deposit and putting poker on the shelf. I certainly don't have the time to study and to improve my game, let alone play the game and assess what I did right or wrong. I have other priorities that require my attention. As much as I like poker, and how badly poker needs strong female players, I don't know if it's all that important to me to excel at poker anymore.

Winning a Few Titles Would Be Great But...

My heart is not in poker like it used to be, and I think I wanted the success of poker (the money, the fame, the accolades) for the wrong reasons. I made this realization when I watched a Marie Forleo interview with self-help guru Danielle LaPorte. The interview is over 20 minutes, and I understand that LaPorte might come across as a little too hippie for some people, but the basic takeaway I got from this interview was that goal setting was entirely backwards. Goals are set regardless of how we want to feel, so we set goals, fail to reach them, and feel horrible about it. We set goals, change our mind about those goals, and then feel horrible about it. We set goals, but it takes longer than we planned to reach them, so we feel horrible about the time it took to reach that goal. We set goals, exceed them with flying colors, and still feel horrible about it because we feel we should have set a bigger goal. The point is to decide on how we want to feel first, and then set goals that get us there.

This explanation of goal setting blew my mind, and caused me to evaluate the goals I have set for myself and to determine how I want to feel. That's why I think my poker goals were set for the wrong reasons. I think I set them because I thought the rewards would do certain things and would make me feel a certain way. I don't know if those thing would be true if I were to achieve those goals. Also, with our desired feelings (as explained in the interview), these feeling shouldn't be attached to external factors. Feeling a certain way shouldn't rely on someone else's actions or having a specific something. I think my poker goals relied on external factors contributing to my feelings, which is why I don't think I set them for the right reasons or wanted to reach my poker goals for the right reasons.

About Those Desired Feelings

I haven't taken the time to think about my desired feelings, but once I heard about the concept, I identified a few feelings that I didn't want to feel. They were negative feelings that I've been experiencing a lot lately, and I felt that something I could do now is to take actions that remove those negative feelings. For example, I don't like being stressed. That's a negative emotion, so I think about what I can do to remove stress. Usually, this has been accomplished by tackling an unpleasant task first, which helps a great deal in making me feel productive. Once I turn these small actions into habits, then I'll start thinking about my desired feelings and the positive feelings that I want to have. They can't just be the opposites of the negative feelings, like the opposite of stressed is relaxed. I don't know I really want relaxed or relaxation as a desired feeling. But, this is why I'm going to dedicate time to sorting this out on another day.

Why I Love Poker

I love poker. Unfortunately, I haven't played online in a while. The site that I use did a complete overhaul of their software. Not only is the layout completely different, albeit better, but part of the overhaul meant changing their server provider. So, you had to take a "scenic route" to get the update by going to the website, re-downloading the software, and logging in using your email address instead of your screen name. Getting used to the layout was difficult, but doable, but because downloading the update was somewhat convoluted, I lost all of the lovely fishies that I could take advantage of in the sit-n-gos. I also lost my sit-n-go action, as with the launch of the new software, the only place for action at my stakes were the six-max cash game tables. Quite the opposite of my bread and butter. I'm waiting the whole thing out so that more fishies join the site again. Anyway, I digress. To celebrate my love of poker, and perhaps inspire me to get back in the game, I am watching/listening to my favorite episode of High Stakes Poker. It's Season 4, Episode 1. How can you not love the deuce-seven game?

How My Love of Poker Started

My fiance (my boyfriend at the time) first taught me how to play poker back in 2010. When I first learned, I didn't take the game too seriously. My intention was to know how to play so I could play with our friends. I had no interest in studying the game or in doing anything to improve my skill. That changed when I started watching poker on television.

Since my boyfriend/fiance and I liked poker, poker was something that both us could agree on watching. It was when I started watching tournaments, like the World Poker Tour, and saw that there were hardly any women playing. I didn't like that so few women were playing, so I decided that the only way to fix that was to take poker seriously and to do what it takes to get to the level of playing in the WPT. After all, you need to be the change that you want to see in the world, and I've loved the game ever since.

It Took Me a Little While to Get to Real Money

When I decided to get serious back in 2010, I was also scared to start playing with real money against real people. I needed to learn more and to practice more first. So, I started with a computer game playing AI called Governor of Poker 2. This actually turned out be a really great game because the plot is amazing!. The final boss is the governor of Texas, who wants to ban poker from the state. To beat the game, you need to play the governor in a heads-up Texas Hold 'Em match, best of three. If you win, then you get to become the governor of Texas and poker remains legal. I think all higher offices should be determined through heads-up poker matches.

Anyway, once I beat the game and felt more comfortable, I moved over to play money tables on Pokerstars and Full Tilt Poker. I focused only on sit-n-gos and spent my time building my "bankroll". I started with hold 'em, but I did spend some time playing eight-game sit-n-gos, which I really enjoyed and wish I could play again. But, I live in the United States and I can't use Pokerstars to play the eight-game sit-n-gos, and Pokerstars is the only site that has them. Sure, I could do the play money tables, but at this point in my poker adventures, play money is rather boring. Anyway, I built my "bankroll" and got to a point after a year or so where play money wasn't fun anymore.

Real Money is a Completely Different Beast

It really is. I joined a poker forum to post hands and to discuss strategy, although since I haven't been playing in a while, I haven't been posting much lately. The forum has helped a great deal, and offers tons of strategy articles that I still need to read. My initial goal when I started with real money was to double my deposit. The closest I got was a 50% increase, and right now I am at 20 or 25% decrease from the initial deposit. I'm down, but I still love poker. The swings are part of the game.

Las Vegas, Learning, and Other Updates

I spent five days in Las Vegas, and came back with a cold. That's the main reason why I didn't blog right when I came back. It's hard to blog when you're stuffy and having trouble sleeping.

I also came back a winner, but when you have a cold you can't enjoy the winnings right away and you can't go back to being an earner right away either. But, my cold is just about over, and I'm ready to get back to work and to blogging!

I Won in Las Vegas!

I won over $500 playing poker, and it all came from two big pots! I didn't have to do anything tricky, as all I did was play my hand. In the first big post, I got pocket queens and won the pot on the turn. In the second pot, I had Q7 suited, flopped trips, and shoved on the turn. Two people called my shove, and ended up winning when neither opponent could beat my three sevens. I understand that's not going to happen every time I sit at a table, but sometimes, all it takes is a big pot or two to change everything.

Even though I came out a winner, I didn't win all the times I played poker in Las Vegas. I tried a live poker tournament at the Quad (the old Imperial Palace), and ended up taking 12th out of 30. Nothing to complain about, but not a place that pays either. I also played a few hours in a cash game where I bought in for $200 and ended down $15. Essentially I broke even, which isn't bad either. In both sessions, I didn't get many good spots to build a big pot or to make any moves.

Learning

I've previously written about coming out of my comfort zone, and chose to learn how to drive a stick-shift as the activity to do to take myself out of my comfort zone. Finally, I've set aside time this Friday to get behind the wheel and to learn how to operate the clutch, to switch gears, and all that good stuff. I know I said that I would do this weeks ago, but it's in my schedule and I am going to get started this week. Eventually, I will know how to operate the vehicle Considering that I live in the city, I'll also be spending a lot of time learning how to parallel park. Unlike most people, I actually didn't have to parallel park to get my license.

Getting Back into the Swing of Things

Going back to the office and to work, so I'm excited to be doing all of that. One of the toughest parts about vacation is ending it and going back to what you were doing before vacation. Half of my Las Vegas winnings went to groceries (I now have food to make for lunch and to take to work), while the rest will go towards a new pair of glasses and lenses that I purchased six months ago. I could only pay for half of it then, and after all this time I have the other half of the payment to get those new frames. It's about time too. I've been needing to zoom in on every website just so I can read it from a reasonable distance. Leaning in hurts my back. I also can't see the community cards from certain seats at the poker table, which isn't too bad, as you should be watching the players when the flop comes. The cards never change once they hit the table!

The Next Few Posts are Pre-Scheduled for My Convenience

I do leave for Las Vegas tomorrow morning, so while I'm out-of-town, I've scheduled some posts for the next few days. I don't want to worry about posting while I'm visiting family and playing poker, so I've posted some articles that I've written for previous clients a year or two ago. Might as well, right? These clients aren't using the content (at least not anymore, as a few of them have closed up shop) and some of it is great content. Although I'm not going to include these pieces into my portfolio, some of them are still relevant and could be valuable to a few people. So, I've scheduled a few posts, and will return to extemporaneous blogging on the 10th. Or, the scheduled posts will at least stop by the 10th, as I won't guarantee I will post something next Thursday.

The Topics Might Be a Bit Off

When choosing which posts to schedule, I went with articles that were written well, that were still relevant today, and that were about something that my current audience would find interesting. An article about Facebook Places doesn't mean anything today, and I wasn't a big fan of this article I did offering tips for an effective websites (it might be worth doing over and publishing somewhere too). So, with the exception of one article, the blog posts scheduled all have something to do with the Internet or technology. When I first started freelancing and blogging for money, technology was a niche. It still is, but it's much more strongly considered a business topic than previously. I don't write about the latest iPhone rumors, or computer code, or how certain technologies work. I more cover technology as how it relates to business and how business owners and professionals can use it.  You know, the practical stuff. Hey, it's what I got.

What to Expect After My Trip

Well, I'll probably do at least one post about the trip, probably discussing my poker escapades and what I want my future to hold for poker. After I get that out-of-the-way, I do need to tackle several other posts I've started and haven't finished. These include my list of things I suck at, what I would do if I were the CEO of AOL, my list of empowering songs, and my wrap up of what I've learned in U.S. history. I have made progress on this venture, but finding the answers in a book is a little tougher than I anticipated. I don't want to look up every single thing online, but I am looking up more online than I wanted to, as I don't want to do borrow several books just to answer those questions.

Once I finish those blog posts that I've started, I can get to those on my list of 50 blog post ideas that I haven't started yet, primarily those questions regarding politics and international affairs. Since I'll be at my office more often, I will have more consistent access to a printer and can spend time doing research. It will help if I get that file cabinet that I said I would get a few months ago, and it looks like I would be able to get it by the end of November. I do have one last payment to a vendor this month, so I will have that money in November if I can't do it this month. I do need to work on my niche and keeping up with it. I also need to work on blogging in general. I think it's best that I consider myself similar to a musician, who is always going out to find gigs and to build an audience. I should do that but with words.

And Just Like That, I'm No Longer a Night Owl

I woke up at 7 a.m. this morning, 4:30 a.m. yesterday (I had a 7:30 a.m. meeting, in my defense), and 10 a.m. the day before. I don't see myself going to bed very late tonight, so it's looks like my whole night owl phase is over. This is actually good, as I am going to Las Vegas this weekend to visit family, and I don't think my parents would appreciate it they never saw me because I was sleeping whenever they were awake. This schedule is also good because I do feel more productive and I am getting more done. This whole thing started because I had a job interview a week ago at 10 a.m., and even though I didn't get the job, I've been nervous and energized ever since then and haven't really done back to the night owl schedule. Also, this past weekend was pretty hectic since I had guests over, and you don't really want to sleep until 2 p.m. when you have guests over. You need to be awake and welcoming when you have guests.

I Didn't Get the Job :(

It was a great job, and it sucks I didn't get it, but I do think it was a blessing in disguise. I interviewed for a director of marketing position with a content marketing company, and it's a position I really shouldn't be qualified for at 25. But, I was considered qualified for the position, and even though I didn't get it, the interviewer did say that I would have done a great job in the role if I had been chosen. It's still a confidence boost and a huge testament to my skills and what I'm capable of. It's hard to get this kind of feedback when I'm self-employed, and although I'm not actively looking for a full-time position, I will consider another one if the right opportunity comes along.

However, everything will be fine. I've picked up quite a bit of new work lately, so it would have sucked to turn around and tell those people I can't do their work anymore because of the new job. Still would have liked to be director of marketing, but it's not as if I don't have anything going for me now or anything to go back to. I can keep doing what I've been doing, and I can do it knowing that I'm really good at what I do and am capable of directing the marketing of a major marketing brand.

I'm Working On My Poker Before I Go

I haven't played too much poker over the past several days because I've been focusing on my work and getting as much done as possible. It's tough to get work done when you're out of town, especially in Las Vegas. Not only are there a ton of distractions, but getting Internet in your hotel room is expensive. But, I am trying to get some poker time in before I go, as I don't want to go to the table and have the last time I played be over a week ago. One thing I am working on is getting comfortable quickly when I am outside of my comfort zone. Part of the reason why it was so tough to play live back in March was that I as out of my comfort zone and second guessing myself sometimes. I know I am a better player than I was in March, so I think I will do better this time around. I won't let any of the regulars scare me this time!

3 Things I Could Do to Come Out of My Comfort Zone

In a previous post, I discussed how I was supposed to do something that takes me out of my comfort zone. I did that something, but felt like I could have done something more or better. I still feel that way, but I haven't taken any time since then to think about the risk I should take. So, I'm taking that time now, and like with my to-learn list, I'm going to commit to one of them and come up with a short action plan to take this risk. Below are a few ideas:

Learn to Drive Stick with My Fiance

I hate driving. I really hate driving. I hate driving more than cleaning up my cat's poop. My fiance has offered several times to teach me how to drive stick so that I can use his car when I need it. I haven't taken him up on the offer because I hate driving. If I learn how to drive stick, then going to the bank wouldn't be such a hassle. It would also be easier to get to new coffee shops and to review them.

Work at the Library

I got to the library regularly, but only to borrow books. I've never actually gone there to spend a few hours getting some work done. This would be something new for me, and would be out of my comfort zone because I'm afraid the library might be too quiet. When it's too quiet, research has shown that it's not good for creativity and concentration. The library is probably not that quiet, but it's worth a shot to work here, especially since I don't have to buy anything to stay awhile.

Organize a Private Screening of Half the Sky

As a Half the Sky Ambassador, one of the things that I'm supposed to do is organize a screening of the movie. I'm in the middle of doing that now with the St. Louis chapter of Young Ambassadors for Opportunity, but I do need to do a screening on my own. I think I could do a private screening with a few friends, or with my old business coach and a few others from that network. Or, I could break the mold even more and do a public screening.

What I'm Going to Do to Come Out of My Comfort Zone

I think I'm going to do the first one: Learn to Drive Stick with My Fiance. I think it's the one that I need to do the most, and at least with this one I get to do it with someone. Once I get used to driving stick, then perhaps the next thing to do to come out of my comfort zone is to drive to the office or to drive out to the county to review a coffee shop. Or, I could drive somewhere at night. I haven't driven at night for a really long time.

I've Completed One of My September Goals!

Now that I've gotten through the tough stuff, let's talk about the fun stuff. Last week, I made a list of my September goals. I've made progress on some of the, but I actually completed one of them: I have over $100 in my poker bankroll! I've moved up in stakes and it's a wonderful feeling. Creating those charts has helped, and I've made one per day for the past few days. I think I only have one left, and I still haven't created a chart today, so once I finish this chart I can continue reading Harrington on Hold 'Em. It's awesome to accomplish goals.

Setting My September Goals

I know it's a bit late to do this, but better late than never. Part of what it means to be awesome is to set goals, to create action plans to meet those goals, and then actually meet those goals. I'm going to set myself for awesomeness for the rest of the month, and eventually the year, by setting a few goals for the latter half of the month. These aren't the most ambitious goals in the world, but I also need goals that I can meet in two week's time.

Finish My DMV Appointment Articles

I have 52 articles left of the 102 articles that I need to complete. I want to get this done by the end of the month so I can invoice my client for the next set of articles. This set is taking longer than expected since I don't have the hired help to get them done. The articles aren't hard, just a little tedious since there's a fair amount of research and fact-checking that needs to go into each article. I'm putting it here as my top goal, and telling the world that this is what I'm going to do, so that I stop putting off these articles and start getting them done.

Finish Harrington on Hold 'Em

I haven't touched this book much since I last wrote about reading this. I'm stuck in the chapter on starting hand ranges, and my plan was to make a set of charts that I can refer to as I am playing poker. I've only made one chart, and I actually made it wrong, and ever since then I haven't touched the books or the charts. I really ought to get back to the book, since I think these charts and memorizing these starting hand ranges would improve my game and better ensure that I put myself in a good position when I decide to play a hand.

On a side note, I have already finished one book on my list of books to read this fall (I could have added a few more to this list, actually). Working on my second!

Have $100 in My Poker Bankroll

I am so close to meeting this goal! I currently have $91 and change, and if I reach $100, then I will have broken even with my original deposit. It's only up from there, as once I reach the $100 I can move up a buy-in level. Then, I can work my way up to doubling my money. Completing my second goal on this list will increase my chances of making this goal.

Answer 5 Questions for International Political Forum

So far, I've only answered one question about the Prime Minister and the Syrian conflict, with research started to answer questions about changes to the food stamp program and the welfare system. I need to get those up before they become outdated. This goal is doable, since I'm already 20% there, with two more questions in the works. I'm going to make it a mini goal to get both of those questions up this weekend. This would put me 60% toward my goal, making the other 20% that much easier to do in two week's time.

Thinking about Being Awesome, and About Doing It

Lately, it's felt like I've lost identity capital, that I haven't done or accomplished much over the past few months. I've actually completed my SuperBetter quests to be more awesome (it was a very small Power Pack) and I don't think I'm any more awesome than I was before I started. Granted, I still haven't done the task to come out of my comfort zone, and that's probably part of the problem. But, that's certainly not the whole story here.

I Think I Need to Revisit My Empowering Beliefs

It's been a long time since I recited my empowering beliefs about money and my empowering beliefs about myself. I think I've lost touch with a lot of things, which is mainly why things have gotten a bit out of control. Yes, one of the things I lost touch with was time, but I think I lost touch with a lot of things over these past few months. To get back into gear, here are my empowering beliefs about myself, of which I need to read more often. At the very least, this establishes more control over my thoughts and self-confidence.

• I, hereby, delete these negative beliefs from my system at the source. Now, I can replace them with empowering beliefs about myself. J
• I am awesome. I am an amazing human rights activist, a phenomenal writer, and an even better person. I am destined to change the world.
• I am agnesamurphy, a budding poker phenom who is constantly improving at everything she does. I am well-liked because I am lots of fun at the table and away from the table.
• I am a great businesswoman running a great business. It’s only a matter of time before it’ll be unthinkable NOT to care about Stirring Media, LLC.
• Someone I don’t even know loves me right now. I do more for this world and for people close to me than I could ever imagine.

I Think I Need to Revisit Identity Capital Too

When that was the theme of this blog, things were going well here and I felt like I had a lot more to say too. I tried to change things up because I didn't like the idea of turning this into a personal diary, but in trying to change I haven't actually changed the scope all that much. I might go back to that topic, as there is something valuable there for people and something that I can discuss and chronicle in a way that's helpful and engaging. The idea of building identity capital is one more thing that I can add to my life to bring it back together and to go back to setting goals, revisiting my marketing plan, measuring what I'm doing, and improving my skills. I could also use a coaching session with my business coach for good measure, or even just a good lunch.

Building identity capital, one day at a time, isn't a bad idea right now for this blog (and my life).

Streamlining Your Awesome

Supposedly, there are only two things you do each day: things you like doing/are good at and things you hate doing/are not good at. Streamlining your awesome(ness) means thinking about the things that fall into the latter category and finding a way to do them less or to have someone else do them. As part of today's SuperBetter quest, I am to write down three things in each category, and for one thing in the hate/not good at category, I am to delegate it or stop doing it all together.

Three Tasks and Activities that I'm Good At/Like Doing

1. Blogging - I love writing and blogging, which is obvious. I wouldn't do it as a hobby, and for a living, if I didn't love it. I also wouldn't be able to make any money from it if I wasn't any good at it.
2. Poker - Naturally, poker would be on this list. I'm better than most, and I'm working very hard on improving my skills and building my bankroll. I do need to work on taking time to study the game, as I still need to finish Harrington on Hold 'Em, take time to review hands and work on my ranges.
3. Goal Setting - I love setting goals, thinking about the future, and taking small action steps toward my goals. Being driven and hopeful hasn't exactly been a problem for me.

Three Tasks and Activities that I'm Not Good At/Hate Doing

1. Accounting - I'm not too good at the bookkeeping when it comes to the business. I often miss an expense, and never have the final total quite right.
2. Setting and Keeping a Routine - I've never been one for routines, doing the same thing day in and day out and keeping myself to a structured schedule. It was easier to do while I was in school, since someone is expecting you to be there
3. Cooking - I'm not very good at cooking, and I'm not fond of doing it either. Never been all that interested in it, even when I went vegan and focused on changing my diet. Cooking makes a vegan diet easier to adhere too, but cooking often takes a lot of prep work. That's the part I really don't like.

What Will Be Delegated or Stopped

Well, I'm not delegating or stopping the cooking, that's for sure. Both are too expensive in the long run, and not cooking means I'll be eating out and eating processed foods. Either of those aren't all I can't stop the accounting either. I could delegate it to a virtual assistant or something, which wouldn't be too expensive, but that's money the business doesn't have right now. It's something that would be doing in the future. So, I guess that leaves the routine, which I feel is somehow the hardest to stop/delegate, even though it's the only option of the three listed.

Between stopping and delegating, I supposed I'm going to have to stop having a routine, which actually sounds confusing. It sounds like I'm going to have no schedule and no control over my time, which doesn't seem healthy or constructive in any way. I certainly can't delegate my routine, or delegate that task to someone else. It's a burden no one wants; keeping track of my schedule and telling me to do certain things and certain times. I don't think I have enough going on and enough strains on my time to have such an assistant.

So, how do you stop having a routine? There's still things that you have to do each day and have to do on certain days. I suppose I can change it up and do something new or different every day. But, if I did that every day, then doesn't it become routine as well? I don't know how this is going to work.